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Call the Shots
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Call the Shots
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And . . . action! As the uproarious trio returns, sensitive Sean takes the spotlight—scripting a low-low-budget film while fielding unexpected female fans. Coop is cooking up another sure-misfire...
And . . . action! As the uproarious trio returns, sensitive Sean takes the spotlight—scripting a low-low-budget film while fielding unexpected female fans. Coop is cooking up another sure-misfire...
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  • And . . . action! As the uproarious trio returns, sensitive Sean takes the spotlight—scripting a low-low-budget film while fielding unexpected female fans. Coop is cooking up another sure-misfire scheme (big surprise), and this time the comedy plays out from Sean's point of view. What's the new master plan? Making a cheapo horror movie guaranteed to make Coop, Sean, and Matt filthy rich! It's a terrible idea, and Sean knows it. But he actually is desperate for cash—and for a way to wipe that big fat L off his girlfriend-less forehead. But when he agrees to write a script about the attack of zombie-vampire humanzees, he has no idea just how powerful a chick magnet this movie will be. Suddenly Sean is juggling not one but three interested ladies. There's his accidental-girlfriend-turned-psychotic-stalker, Evelyn. There's the wicked hot actress from drama class, Leyna, who seems willing to do anything to land the starring role. And even his twin sister's gothed-out best friend, Nessa, is looking at Sean in a whole new way. Will any of them wind up as Sean's true leading lady? Will Sean stop being a doormat and finally start calling the shots?

 

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About the Author-

  • I grew up in Hicksville, (that's right, Hicksville) New York. It's a town on Long Island that's basically Levittown-light. We had all the charm of the 1950s' cookie-cutter houses without the posh Levitt name.

    My mother, brother, sister, and I lived with my grandmother on Arrow Lane, a block and half away from Parkway Pool where my sister and I took swim lessons and practiced with our swim team.

    It was my mother and grandmother who instilled a love of reading in me. They always had a Stephen King or a James A. Michener novel going. Christmas and birthday presents were often Roald Dahl, C. S. Lewis, or Lloyd Alexander books.

    I must have been around nine when I decided that I wanted to be a writer. My first story was a very bad one called "The Battle Between Earth and Mars" (or some such). Many of the characters and storylines were borrowed from Star Wars and Star Trek (certainly not recommended). Upon reading the tale, a friend of the family suggested I try making up my own stories and, oddly enough, it completely freed up my imagination. I haven't stopped writing since (though, for a brief period of time I flirted with the idea of being a rock-and-roll god).

    After university, I moved to Los Angeles and started writing screenplays. I wrote them, but nobody read them. I wrote more of them. And still, nobody read them. In the meantime I got my teaching certificate through the LAUSD Intern program and taught third, fourth, and fifth grade.

    After years (approximately six) of waking up at 5:00 a.m. to get some writing in before work, someone finally read one of my scripts and bought it. Since then I've worked with Universal Studios, Paramount Pictures, Marvel Studios, the Disney Channel, and Lionsgate.


    Swim The Fly is my first novel and, as far as writing goes, it's the project I am most proud of. I had an enormous amount of fun working on it (even though, had it not been for my wife's persistence, it probably wouldn't exist).

    Though none of the things that happen in the book actually happened to me, I used a lot of my memories growing up (in Hicksville) and being on swim team for inspiration.

    My writing process is fairly simple: tea, headphones, music, a thousand words a day, try to make myself laugh.


    Three Things You Might Not Know About Me:

    1. I spend far too much time teaching my dog silly tricks.

    2. I collect game-worn hockey jerseys (yup, the smelly, sweaty jerseys that professional hockey players wear)

    3. It took a great deal of practice (and much coaching from one of my best friends in junior high) but forever more I can make fart sounds with my hands.

Reviews-

  • Publisher's Weekly

    July 23, 2012
    “ll we ever get out of Coop’s schemes are headaches and heartbreaks,” opines high school sophomore Sean, who gets his turn narrating in this third volume about the misadventures of three boys that began with Swim the Fly. Coop’s latest idea is to make a low-budget horror film. Neither Sean nor Matt are interested until Sean’s parents announce there’s a baby on the way. With Coop’s emphasis on the commercial aspects of filmmaking (“The idea is to make something that will sell. Quality is secondary”), Sean signs on, hoping to earn enough to add an extension to his house so he won’t have to share a room with his twin sister, Cathy, a truly unpleasant character. Naturally, complications ensue, as Sean inadvertently becomes linked romantically with a possibly psychotic ninth-grader, while trying to nurture a relationship with Leyna, a hot classmate, and fend off advances from Cathy’s BFF, Nessa. (Sean’s “lightsaber” fully extends in his shorts many, many times.) Those who enjoyed the first two books will find a hefty helping of more raunchy fun. Ages 14–up. Agent: Jodi Reamer, Writers House.

  • School Library Journal

    November 1, 2012

    Gr 8 Up-The hilarious and appropriately crude teens Coop, Matt, and Sean from Swim the Fly (2009) and Beat the Band (2010, both Candlewick) are back. For their final story, Sean takes the lead. He has just learned that his mother is pregnant, and, as a result, he will have to share a bedroom with his sister, Cathy. Coop convinces Sean and Matt to join him in a scheme that he guarantees will reward them with more than enough cash to put an extension on Sean's house. The plan is to make a horror movie and win the $50,000 prize at TerrorFest. Sean hopes that the film will get him out of bunking with his annoying twin and maybe even land him a girlfriend. Coop's plans are destined to misfire, and their work results in a trio of love interests for Sean (including a crazy stalker girlfriend), lots of quality time with a stoner uncle, threats from an ex-marine, bird poop, monkey masks, and a whole lot of laughs. Simply put, Call the Shots is funny. Calame nails the language and thought processes of younger teenaged males. The crudeness is authentic and far from gratuitous, and it's quickly overshadowed by the story's heart. Shots is the last taste of this magnetic trio, and Calame has given it massive appeal.Emily Chornomaz, Camden County Library System, NJ

    Copyright 2012 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Kirkus

    Starred review from August 1, 2012
    It's nice guy Sean's turn to shine in this hilarious follow-up to Swim the Fly (2009) and Beat the Band (2010). Sean isn't initially swayed by his crazy friend Coop's idea to make himself, Sean and their third amigo Matt into millionaires by shooting a low-budget horror film. But after his parents announce that they are having another baby and there is no money for a bigger house, Sean decides to sign on as screenwriter to avoid moving into his mean twin sister's room. However, writing the movie is the least of his problems. Sean also finds himself embroiled in a terrifying romantic four-way with his new, Swiss-cheese-smelling, stalker girlfriend Evelyn, his drama crush Leyna and his sister's best friend, the enigmatic Nessa. Sean's well-intentioned attempts to juggle his relationships, school and the movie shoot result in the kind of outrageous mishaps that fans have come to expect from author Calame, who once again does not disappoint, with grade-A gross-outs that include a colossal bird-crap bombing and a chorizo-and-chili projectile-vomiting incident. Fearlessly foul, this consistently comical series should be required reading for all teenage boys and anyone else with a strong stomach and highly sensitive funny bone. (Fiction. 14 & up)

    COPYRIGHT(2012) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • The Horn Book

    January 1, 2013
    Sensing that his friend Coop's plan to get rich by making a low-budget horror film might actually attract potential girlfriends, Sean agrees to write the script. But Sean has to stop being a doormat if he wants girls to take him seriously. The returning characters ([cf2]Swim the Fly[cf1]; [cf2]Beat the Band[cf1]) are authentically raunchy, insecure, and humorously drawn, with spot-on dialogue to match.

    (Copyright 2013 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

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